Erm.. how should I pen this down. The day before.. Sunday, I was catching the moive Island, before the show had even started, I got a phone call from my dad. Saying my grandfather passed away that day.. At first I was quite surprise, and worry as well. But my father assure me that I need not need to go down. So I decided to watch the show first maybe if possible go down to TPY if needed.
I reacted quite calmly at first, since I not really close with my father side.But somehow after the show, after calling my father, the feeling seem abit depressed, abit sad. Maybe the tots of my grandfather just run thru my mind.
Actually I quite pity my grandfather, heard over my Gugus(aunts) and mother, that he from China, he came over with his 3 younger brothers. Worse fact was when i gotten his death cert. His day of birth only indicated the year he born in 1918. So I ask my father, when is his birthday. Seriously noone know, cause my grandfather himself also dont remember when his birthday.
So sadly all those tots run thru my mind, you see, my grandfather got 3 sons, and 2 daughter, my father being the eldest. But then there a slight problem, my father and 3rd uncle is not my grandfather real son. They are been adopted by my great-grandmother and put under my grandfather care. So only the 2nd son is his fresh and blood, so being that case, my grandparent of cause adore him.
And my father is quite rebellious, and mix with the wrong kind of people, so my father is not really close with my grandparent, and since young, only my mother would bring me to see my grandparent. My father would sure quarrel with my grandmother and of cause there another reason he wont like to go.
My grandfather got a weird hobby, he like to collect old tins cans, waste newspaper, wire and then resell them. Then his whole house will pile up with all his "collection". In the house, my grandparent live with his 2nd son and wife. But sad to say, the son and the daughter-in-law never clean up or tidy up the places. So the whole place jus pile up with rubbish and more rubbish. So u see a kid like me at that time wont like to go there. Let alone live there, but my 2nd uncle rise up his 2 elder son in that kind of enviroment, and it get worse over the years.
Ever since I stop visiting them since my secondary day,(My mom would still go by once in awhile). I heard from my mom that the 2nd uncle wife would always quarrel and beat up my grandmother, her 3rd son, also rise in an not so nice environment. The son was born normal, and now is quite a smart kid, but one thing pity was his head and his bone structure. It was twisted. Cause since young, he slept in an weird persition causing his head to twist one side. Actually he still can be fix that time, but dont know what my 2nd uncle thinking. Cause of saving that small amt of $$ they decided not to cure him.
That not being the case, there still alot of things, over the years they had move out, and my 3rd uncle being the most humble of them all would still do his part as the son, in cleaning up the mess that been left behind. Of cos my grandfather still contiune with his habbit but not as much as last time.
So I was there this morning, at the wake, and there already alot of argument going about.My 2 aunt and my father was commenting about my 2nd uncle decision to prepare the wake. It was quite messy. And my grandfather body was even sent to the hospital. According to my dad, there a proper way of doing all this things, but cause of my 2nd uncle sturboness, he refuse to seek and advice. And best of all my family was the last to be informed of my grandfather death. Imagine he pass away at 2pm we were told at around 7pm on Sunday. So by the time, my father reach there, he was already in flame.(I was not there due to watching of Island) Cause all the proper way of doing things was not carry out.
There another reason behind all these also... Cause like I say early on. My father was not his real son. So the 2nd uncle somehow does not want my father to be incharge. So he decided to go his way, till my father got furious and scolded him yesterday night. It all about money. But seriously my father and 3rd uncle dont even give a damn about his saving. Heard from my mom, and aunt, my grandfather is actually quite a thrifty person. He work thru out his life and always save up his money. Thinking back, I never heard of him really stop working and really go on enjoying his life. My grandmother also a fish monger before she decided to stop after she aint earning much $$.
It quite sad to see all this things, my 2nd uncle all he care about is my grandfather $$. There still more but I dont think i am able to pen them all down.( I think I got reflect abit during my previous post). So in the morning, while we await the body of my grandfather and also to do the final prayer to seal up the coffin, it was almost another quarrel, but lucky the people at the screen was able to calm my father down. The quarrel was to who should be the Son who should do the prayers. Also know as Zhang Zi, yes, my father is the eldest son, but he not fresh and blood of my grandfather, so my 2nd uncle insisted he wanted to be the Zhang Zi although using my grandmother as his sheild saying it her wish.
But still, they decided me as the Zhang Sun (Eldest grandson) but it kind of werid not following yr father and praying with another uncle. So my father was quite really work up. So the whole ceremony started, it kind of weird how one would not feel sad at this kind of things, even though I was not really close with my grandfather, but looking at his body I just could not hold back my tears. Afterall he still my grandfather, kind of sad to see him just go like that. My grandmother seem to be strongest one of them all, she never wept but still we can sense sadness in her. She still think my grandfather eye move when she call his name
All this ended and more relative came, some that I never even seen before, I dont even know my grandfather got 3 younger broter until today. Each son got their own family and most of the youngest brother's daughter is here today. Actually is all 6 of them. They slowly introduce me to them. And they tell me stories and thing I would never hear from my father.
Just wanted to say, life is so unpredictable, you never know you are gone the next day. Like my grandfather, he was bathing one moment the next he fall and lie still on the floor. You never knew.. So enjoy your life. Live it.
~posted by Victor Tan at
Monday, August 1, 2005
so from the first entry.. it cant be so bad for July right, it totally wrong. The thing are just about to start after my birthday... but first, I am quite curious.. I haven been updating my blog for almost 2 months. but the counter on my blogs shows 278 hits.. so it show that over the past 2 months my blog was visited 30 plus times.. I wonder who he/she is.. maybe leave a msg at the shoutout box.. :D at least tell me my blog is beening read.
so now for the bad news.... It seem that my company, Signal Company. one of the branch in the unit is left a very bad impression on the new commander of the unit.. So it seem, that when new Commander step in.. IT MEAN CHANGES.. so change we will and we got to adpot. and It really a direct impact on me, and my men and of cos the specs.. This I really cant help but complain.. Help La.. it not as if we are not doing work, no matter whatever the unit is involved in, my company, OUR company will be there to assist and help, just becos the commander dont like the way we manage our company, we are beening targeted.. SHIT.
So new rule apply and we are beening monitor.. the movement of everyone must be reported.. and worse still I must be there for every sinlge f**king event. hey.. LIKE I AINT GOT A LIFE. oh well.. I can still endure this but what I hate is how thing got targeted on us even when the fault does not lies with us.. and how things turn out when it does not goes other ppl way...
So i mus endure.. and cross finger I get to post out soon, i really hate the way the unit manage.. It totally different from other places..
This is not it, they even want the whole camp to stay in.. haha Actually I am quite fine with it since I am already staying in but what i hate is the lack of freedom, at least I still got the bit freedom to do some of my stuff during free times, now I see is all gone.. So is like back to the BMT, SISpec days.. staying in 5 days a week and booking out on friday nite..
Worse still I been working like a dog, and alot of things been targeting at me. F**K, I actually got a PC above you noe. and the freaking thing about this is.. He not always in camp, and so does the OPs Spec, so what if u freaking serve 5 or 7 years in army.. That does not mean you can push yr job to anyone... Alot of jobs it seem should be theirs.. but somehow or another I am handling it. And when they dont feel like doing, they push to others. F**K la then what your freaking pay for? The army pay them so they can slack at home? Worse still, in the eyes of the other, it seem that they are doing work, and the company run so well is cos of them.. LIKE DUHz... who interact with the men more often, who handle their stuff more often, who do the paper work, their duties, their interview, the planning... blah blah blah. the list goes on....
Nevermind all this will changes esp the new rule coming in.. ALL MUST STAY IN.. let see how their escpae their responsibilty again..
Especially I hate been scolded when it nt my fault.....
~posted by Victor Tan at
Monday, July 25, 2005
Ah.. quite a while since I last type an entry.. been really busy and of cause "lock" up in camp.. Month of July should actually be a happy month for me.. lol cause my birtday fall in this month.. but somehow or another, i dont really enjoy this birthday..
Just 2 weeks past since my birthday, July 15.. everything seem so well.. before my birthday.. I still remember July 13, the day I gather my men and treat them to a good dinner.. Partly as a birthday celebration and also a promotion treat. we went to makan at sakura in Tamp SAFSA.. Actually had a good dinner but wish more turn up lol as it seem it become more of a C4 gathering rather then my whole platoon : but then again lookin at the bill make me think twice.. haha $280.80.. burn a really big hole in my pocket...
then the very next day.. July 14... went out with my 2 pal from poly.. gone KTV and spend another 100 dollar.. but that day can say we had fun.. as for the actual day.. erm.. I spend my whole day at home.. doing nothing.. haha I kind of use to it.. nothing really special anyway except wat really touch me. is my platoon 1 by 1 they sms me wishing me Happy birthday.. haha and of cos some of my dear friends... Then at nite went Kbox with my idiotic friend who are there to accompany most of the weekends.. haha at least i sing to my heart content..
So it just another year just another day of my life nothing really special.. lolz if I am happy everday could jus be another birthday celebration for me.. :D
~posted by Victor Tan at
Monday, July 25, 2005